April 25, 2013

The zipper.

I felt good. I felt really good. My job interviewing skills were getting better and better and I think I got this job. This is a dream--PR and secretarial work. No one likes organizing calendars and working with social media more than this girl.
The original shorteralls (overall shorts).
So I went back to my apartment, happy as clam, or mussel, or some short of shellfish (how did this idiom come about?). I shared my excitement with my friends and went on for a couple minutes about the company. I turned around and started heading back to my apartment to change. 

"Eden," Nicolle hesitated. "Has your zipper been down this whole time?"

I thought for a second. Did this skirt have a zipper? No...right?

Nicolle walked up behind me and ziiiiiiiip.

Oh crap. My mind started racing. Where have I been? Who had seen me? How did I miss the zipper? The room was rising in temperature. I remember rushing home from my final to grab Camille's car keys and changing very quickly. I remember fastening the clasps...but I couldn't recall zipping the zipper. My interviewers might have seen. "Eden?" I became unresponsive to my friends. I'm clawing at the recesses of my mind to find a place to hide. I kept thinking. The man was at least a billion feet tall, so maybe not him. The woman seemed exhausted from interviewing all day long. She was seated. She could have witnessed my plaid blue underwear (thank goodness it was appropriate). The man in the back booth of Kneaders. For sure, he saw. All those cars that passed me when I went to Illia's to say goodbye. All five of those cars, abundant with people.

And now my friends. (Oh, how I will miss them.)

As my flashbacks began to dim, I became more conscious of my physical surroundings. Laughter filled my ears, the room was hot and it was hard to breathe. I was so confident in my interview, and one simple mistake, one sign of weakness tore me down.

April 23, 2013


There is a crazy cat infestation around my complex. Sometimes the meowing in the night keeps me up. It definitely is becoming a problem. And it doesn't help that the old mattress in the parking garage is housing a billion of those cats.

Over a month ago, there was a grey cat lying very soggy and very dead on the storm drain in front of my apartment, the same entrance to hell that the raccoon around here sulks into each morning.
Don't worry, I called animal control.
Nicolle wrote a nice eulogy for Banjo the cat.

Sometime last week, I was walking to grab a soda and fries for a night in with Camille. I strolled by some bushes next to my apartment complex when suddenly, the bushes rustled and started growling. I stood still for a half a second, stiffened when the snarling intensified and I heard the sound of flesh tearing. I quickened my pace and thought, "What the heck am I going to do if this animal pounced on me?" Two more steps and I was out of the devil's sight but not before hearing a rough bark--not of a dog--and gnashing of teeth. It must have been rabid as the sounds rising from the stirring bushes concocted images into my mind of a creature with froth and blood dripping from its open, hungry mouth.
To the victim of the vicious circle of life, although you didn't go in such a way, I hope you rest in peace.

Anyway, I hope finals are going well. Here's a clip from Bob's Burgers...one of my newfound television favorites.
It's a special brand of humor. It took me three or four episodes to get into it. And now I love it.

In other news this morning, the Associated Press' twitter was hacked. It tweeted falsely that there was an explosion at the White House and Obama was injured. The AP stock fell drastically then came back up. And now my primary source of news (AP tweets to my phone) has been suspended.

Have a good day, my friends.

April 19, 2013

The silence.

My best friends are the best out of those I have made in my life. They understand my quietness not (solely) as introverted awkwardness (because let's admit it, I am sometimes awkward when I converse), but as just thinking time for me, as time for me to just soak in what is going on around me and to just be with whoever I am with. Other people, even you, may misunderstand this quietness as a barrier between myself and the world, as extreme introverted-ness, or an unwillingness to get to know you. One of my high school Spanish teachers once described me as "nice, but not friendly." I am sorry if I come across to you that way. I promise, I am friendly once you get to know me (and that was high school...wasn't that a weird time for everyone?). And I can't really explain why I am so quiet. I did take a personality test for my class this semester and it said I am an ISFJ, which, I guess, kind of provides an answer to the why. Upon reading more about what psychology had to say about my personality, I came across a segment in the Wikipedia article saying that my "reluctance to open up to strangers can lead others to misread them [ISFJs] as standoffish." I apologize if I ever come off as standoffish. This is not me. So, as my remedy to any misconceptions you may have of me, I decided to periodically post about my thoughts and emotions as a way for you to get to know me without me having to really talk about my thoughts and emotions.

I have always preferred writing to talking about my emotions.

So right now, I am feeling very anxious. The same best friends are leaving for their home, for their internships abroad or for their mission. I am very happy for them, don't get me wrong, and I am excited for this summer. But I am also scared of change. And although I have done many things by myself--I love the quiet of my room, of my apartment, of my world--there are moments when I am alone where I feel troubled and suffocated by the silence. And I am going to be alone soon.

But this will be good for me. And it'll only be for a little while in the grand scheme of things. That's what I keep saying to myself. That's what everyone keeps saying. I just need to stay focused on the good that will come from this and not let my mind go to a dark place. I have a new calling in church, I have neat classes that will keep me busy, I (may) have a job, I have more time to read books and take up new hobbies. I have you. I have future me. I have God.

Dear friends and readers, my closest of friends are leaving so please be patient with me if I seem even more overwhelmingly quiet in a couple weeks.  But I will come out to play soon.

April 17, 2013

An email from the future.

Monday evening, Eden sat at the table with her books scattered about. She was leaning heavily on her left arm, her hand clutching at the roots of her hair as her other hand restlessly shook her pen against her textbook. Too many characters to memorize before Saturday. 她要會去睡覺。

"This final will be the death of me," she muttered under her breath.

Amidst the mumbling and grumbling, Eden's phone started buzzing, startling her as it disrupted the silence. Apparently, AIM was still alive and well and now allowed texting. It simply stated that she "received a txt from an AOL/AIM user." 

The message?

"Check your junk and spam mail...your first task is waiting." 

Eden started freaking out. What the heck was going on. How did this person get her number and her email? Privacy is dead and pretty soon, she was going to die. That's how it was in the movies, right? Some form of privacy is breached and then the victim dies. She was going to die.

This didn't stop her though. No, not Eden. She delved into her spam folder and found an email from an Eden Wen. Same username, just different service...

April 16, 2013


Hear my plea
Help me not to fail my finals please
And to not pollute my grades with C's
Help me to survive this week...

Oh goodness. Ohhhhh goodness. Finals are nigh and my motivation to study is nonexistent. Each time I open a textbook, I end up shutting it within five minutes, tears pooling in my eyes, overwhelmed with the amount of concepts and characters and craziness I have to store back into my brain.

I just can't wait to be done with finals. I am ready to to celebrate the end of this semester. I am ready to shed the woes of this past semester and start anew. And although I am quite wary of change, I am ready for spring and summer and for the new adventures that it'll bring.

April 12, 2013

One of those days.

Sometimes I think too much about my future, my past, my friends, my family and I get uneasy about everything that is happening all around me.

Today is one of those days.

In these times, I like to surround myself with people to keep myself from feeling alone. And I just listen and listen and listen. If I am alone, I like to surround myself with music to keep my mind in check. And I just listen and listen and listen.

And although today is one of those days, I've surrounded myself with good friends and good music and I'm feeling that in the end, everything's going to be just fine.

I hope you have a good day and enjoy the rooster.

April 9, 2013

Neverland isn't as special.

Dear Friends,

Today I would like to just let my thoughts wander and chat a little about growing up. This month I am turning 25 (which just so happens to also be my golden birthday), an age that I have forever thought of as the turning point from young adult to adult’s adult. Like responsible adult. Get your own phone plan adult. Be independent adult. I no longer need to talk to my parents every week kind of adult. Well, I think you get the idea. And as I am getting closer to this age, day by day I realize that I am by no means ready to be an adult’s adult. And I think that it’s okay… to a point…to still be contingent on your own childlike tendency’s to depend on your parent’s love.

Last month my Grandpa was admitted to the hospital for a handful of different reasons. Now let me tell you a bit about my Grandpa. He is just so special to me. His birthday is just 3 days before mine and out of the 24 (going on 25) years I have lived on this Earth, we have celebrated our birthdays together 23 times. It is a tradition that I hold dear to my heart as we age together, though separate.

This year he turns 81. And as of right now it looks like he is going to make it to yet another birthday. But while he was in the hospital our family experienced an emotional awakening, something that we have not experienced before. The possible loss of a person we all love so sincerely. Now I am sure that most of you have experiences death in your own families, and yes I have too, but this was a little different, this was the first familiarity of death in regards to someone who has truly changed my life. Through many prayers from myself and others and through the expertise of the doctors who worked with him, he is home resting. But none the less, this was close, and it was a very real emotional drain on my heart.

A little while after he was released to go home, I went to go visit my dad at his house about 40 minutes from where I live. As we were sitting on the couch silently watching some t.v. he says to me, “I know that he is only getting older, and that we have been expecting this for a while, but it still is a strange feeling to know that the man who raised me is going to be leaving soon.”

April 6, 2013

General Conference, 4/2013.

(Watch here -->) gc.lds.org | #ldsconf | mormon.org

"Because Heavenly Father loves His children, He has not left them to walk through this mortal life without direction and guidance" (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf). The Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, provides that direction and guidance.

I would like to personally invite you to come listen to living prophets. I always look forward to the opportunities I have to hear counsel from God's servants and to be spiritually enriched. I know that our prophet today, Thomas Monson, communes with God and reveals His will for us.

I love this Church and I love my Savior Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. I have a testimony of His beloved gospel. It has brought me happiness and peace, it teaches what I know so passionately in my mind and my heart to be truths. These truths will be spoken of today and tomorrow during General Conference. Come listen.

April 3, 2013


This topic has been a long time coming.

Korean Pop. I never understood the appeal, then Gangnam Style came out, garnering almost 1.5 billion views on YouTube and I was like, this is so ridiculous, it's good. And I participated in a spoof myself (I come into focus at 3:06).

It didn't last for me, though. I just wanted to know what they were saying so bad, and I wasn't committed enough to look up everything they were saying. They threw English words and phrases in the midst of their Asian that really didn't make sense...or maybe it does, I don't know. All you non-Korean K-pop lovers, do you really know what they're saying? Or are you just diggin' the beat? Their music videos, yes, are very cute with their coy smiles, their adorable winks, the strategic tracing every so often of their flawless faces, the tilting of their dainty heads...

And of course, when I was Hong Kong over the Christmas break, it turned out that my cousin's son was in love with Girls' Generation. And then, my younger sister revealed that she also loved Girls' Generation. There are nine of them. NINE. I mean, I can't even work with more than four people on a class project without the fear of losing my voice, imagine fighting eight other people to literally have your voice heard.
This reminds me of kittens. A room full of the most adorable kittens in the entire world. Also, Duffy, anyone?

And this...talk about trying to get equal face time. I counted nine, then eleven, then ten. I don't know. So many elements to this song too. Goodness, I can't tell what they want me to think.

April 1, 2013

Guest #4.

This next guest and I met freshman year and we've been friends since. And yes, he posted before his proper introduction, but I really liked what he said on his own blog that I had him repost it here before I could send out an intro.

This is Wes.

I love him so much. He is a great reader and writer and probably will compose the Great American Novel one day. Last semester, we spent practically every day together as we took the same English and Doctrine and Covenants classes. It was the best when we made pretentious grammar jokes or doodled in our religion notebooks.

Although Wes and I don't see each other as often as last semester, I can easily call him up at any time of the day and we will take quick trips to Wendy's and grab chicken nuggets or sit in the Wilk and go over his changed life plans. His laugh is very, very infectious and you really can't help yourself but laugh with him.

Wes has witnessed my awkwardness on many occasions but has always met it with his own awkwardness, jokes and words of wisdom.

We skyped each other while watching The Legend of Korra once.

Wes' a delight and I love him.


Update 3/31/13: Wes' post.